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What I wanted to be when I grew up

We’re in for a treat starting tonight when six planets will be visible in the night sky. This planetary parade will culminate on February 25, when Mercury joins the lineup, and all seven planets appear to align. While it’s not a once-in-a-lifetime event, it is rare. The last time this happened was 2022.

I am a loud and proud space geek. My mom took me to Long Beach Island State Park in the middle of the night when I was nine to watch Halley’s Comet make its once-every-72-to-80-year fly-by. I used to dream about being an astronomer so badly back then. (Other careers I wanted to pursue at one point or another include: pediatrician, nun, and Rockette. This might explain a lot about me, I realize.)

This path was doomed to fail because, as it turns out, I don’t have a single scientifically inclined bone in my body. It was a bummer on many levels, but it cleared the way for the thing I am good at: writing.

My true gift is weaving words together into stories. And a few years ago, I had a crazy idea to write a story about an astronomy professor. While I don’t have the chops to be an astronomer, I got to live vicariously through one in my new book, ACCORDING TO MY SCIENCE, which launches (ha-ha…get it?!) March 11, 2025.

When the stars (or planets) align, dreams can come true. They may just look a little different than they once did.

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Failed planner here

I love planning. I’ve spent years collecting beautiful planners and scrawling appointments, to-lists, and goals using colorful pens and stickers.

And yet, I suck at following plans.

My writing is no different. I’ve really tried to plot. I’ve watched webinars, bought books, and implemented systems, all to write more efficiently. To do things right. To be more like everyone else who has it all together.

So in 2021, I meticulously outlined a book scene by scene. Months later, when it came time to draft it, I knew all my planning would pay off.

At the end of that first day of drafting, I had written zero words.

NONE.

Frustrated doesn’t begin to describe the feeling.

Three days later, I started drafting an entirely different story with only the vague premise of a woman who goes to work for a playboy billionaire without knowing the Indecent Proposal-type agreement between him and her husband. Three years, several drafts, and five title changes later, THERE’S ALWAYS A PRICE became my debut.

Not following a plan doesn’t mean there isn’t one. For me, it means I can’t see or feel it until I dive in. Like taking the first step into a wooded area where the path isn’t obvious. I might have to trample some ground cover and slice through the overgrowth, but at some point, the path will become clear—even if I have to cut it.

I’ve stopped working against my natural tendency to write intuitively. Now I embrace it. I view every word I write, even what I cut, as serving the story or my process in some way. Nothing is wasted.

Since 2021, I’ve drafted three more books, including that one I meticulously plotted but couldn’t write. I finally finished it last week and sent it off to my fabulous copy editor. It doesn’t look anything like that outline, and that’s a good thing. Because as I’ve learned, not following a plan is the perfect plan for me.

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Coincidence or kismet…

Some writers have rituals they do to get their creative juices flowing. Some light a candle or brew special tea. I don’t have a ritual unless consuming copious amounts of coffee and water qualifies. But I’ve surrounded my office with mementos from people, trips and experiences, favorite books, inspirational quotes, and lots of post-its (bless those sticky pads).

But my favorite thing is a picture of 9-year-old me and my Nana.

She died when I was 13, and I still remember her voice and the way she smelled. (Ben Gay and talcum powder do make a memorable combo.) I spent a lot of time with her as a kid. She loved to shop and taught me how to pick through a clearance rack like a boss. She was short in size, but mighty in spirit. She was tough, unafraid of anyone or anything. But she was the softest person to lean into. She gave the best hugs.

I thought of all of this today more than usual because it’s her birthday. And since my memory stinks, I combed through the New Jersey archives to find out how old she would have been. And while I accomplished that, it was the date she died that gave me pause: September 24, 1989.

Friends, I abstractly chose September 24, 2024, to launch my very first book—35 years to the day she died. I picked that date because I needed to give myself a deadline and finally publish the book. It was random.

Or perhaps it wasn’t.

I’m a big believer that things happen when and how they should.

So as I contemplate this picture of my Nana tucking me close, her arms wrapped around me with love, I can’t help but smile. Because this morning, I was reminded that she’s still doing it. And she always will.

Happy 113th Birthday, Nana. Thanks for always taking care of me. I love you and I miss you. Until we meet again.

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One month anniversary

What a year this month has been. On September 24th, I was in an Airbnb celebrating my first day on Earth as a published author. That was followed by two major hurricanes; consecutive weekend visits to North Carolina; and fretting over my daughter’s solo weekend to see Taylor Swift (she survived!) I.Am.Exhausted.

While it’s empowering and exciting to be a published author, it’s also a business that requires a whole other level of time and work. Some of the things I’ve been doing this month, include, but are not limited to:

  • muddling through ads (spending money…check)
  • finding promotional opportunities (ditto above)
  • applying for podcasts (I know…who am I?)
  • begging for reviews (really, so important but so hard to get)
  • reaching readers (see above)
  • engaging on social media (failing miserably)
  • putting together book club questions (haven’t done)
  • looking for book festivals (me selling in person…hysterical)
  • writing this newsletter (a day late)

And of course, the most essential part of an author business is THE PRODUCT. Without writing books, I won’t have much of a career. So this month, in between life and business stuff, I’ve been working on the book I’m releasing early next year.

Does it give me a ton of time? Nope.
Am I cutting it close? Definitely.
Can I do it? I believe so.
Will I do it? I guess we’ll all have to wait and see. I’ll be wondering right along with you. Stay tuned. We’ll all be the first to know.

Just know this about me if you don’t already—one my biggest superpowers is I tend to do my best work under pressure. And while I’ve changed in many ways through the years, that fundamental part of me is still going strong. 🙂

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Dear Younger Jen,

Hi! I know you won’t believe this, but I’m you many, many, MANY years in the future. Right now, you’re probably sitting cross-legged in our upstairs bedroom on Westminster Drive, surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals, dreaming up adventures for them. Crafting intricate plots, like the time you had Barbie’s friend Whitney talk her into sneaking out of the dreamhouse (the one you made out of a cardboard box) to steal a ride on Pegasus before Megan woke up. You see, Megan didn’t trust Whitney to take care of Pegasus, so going behind her back was the only way Whitney could get what she wanted.

You always did have a penchant for drama. For the push and pull between good and evil. For the little unexpected twist. For the ending that was only satisfying when the heroine realized she had the power to save herself and others the whole time. All she had to do was go through hell to figure it out.

I guess that’s why you really were born to be a writer. Not a pediatrician or an astrophysicist or an astronomer like you once believed.

You will eventually want to be a writer. You’ll realize that you can be anything inside the stories you create. So you’ll start writing them down. Short stories, screenplays, and eventually a novel. You won’t share a single thing for a very long time because you won’t feel like you’re any good at it. But you’ll keep writing, keep creating, keep growing.

Until one day, you’ll decide to be brave. You’ll find a community. You’ll meet friends who support you. And though you’ll go through lots of rejection, you’ll eventually choose to listen to your voice. The one that started where you are right now. The one that believed you could do anything and be anything.

And you’ll do it.

Because today, you became a published author. And that world inside your head seeped out so others could experience it as you imagined.
It may be later than you thought. It may be different than you wanted. But here we are. Doing it. Living the dream.

And it is so worth the work and the wait.

Love,

Older Jen
Author of There’s Always a Price
Available on Amazon